Musical Beds

I can't remember the last time I slept a full 8 hrs. and woke up in my own bed. When Eric and I were newlyweds he commented regularly on how amazed he was at how much I slept. I was used to a 9 hour block. And oh how I treasured that time. I had learned to appreciate sleep on my mission when I went to bed every night at 10:00 and woke at 6:00 and considered myself extremely sleep deprived. Little did I know what was ahead of me.

I'm not just cranky when I don't get sleep, I turn, or used to turn Evil. Eric says I've gotten a lot better about getting less sleep. I think I've just given up. I have a friend who says that God knows how she is about getting her sleep so he blessed her with good sleepers. Did he overlook me?! ):

Clark was sleeping awesome, and then he turned 5 months. I don't know what it was. Maybe because he became more aware of his surroundings? He used to wake up once to have a quick bite and sleep till morning. Now he's up at least 3 times fussing. I don't feed him more than once but I've got to get up and rock him or give him his pacifier. And the other night he just plain wanted to play.

The baby unfortunately is not the only bad sleeper in this house. Wyatt wakes up when he hears thunder or anything resembling thunder like an airplane. We did the white noise thing but he still hears it. So after many sleepless nights in our room we put his mattress in Bianca's and he's been OK in there for the most part. Bianca also likes to get up at night and randomly get in our bed. She doesn't say why, she just gets in. And this is where the music starts. About a month ago, around the 4th of July, Wyatt was afraid of the fireworks. He got up and ran in our bed. So I naturally went to his bed and let him sleep with Eric. Then Bianca got up and got in Wyatt's twin bed with me for whatever reason. I got up and went to her bed. As soon as I fell asleep Clark started to fuss. I went in and gave him his pacifier and turned him on his side. When I went back in to Bianca's bed Wyatt was in there looking for me. I let him come in the bed with me and we fell asleep. Then I got up to feed Clark and went back to my bed for an hour, then it was morning. When Eric got up and told me he was tired I wanted to punch him. It's not his fault he can sleep through almost anything.

I look forward to the night that I can go to bed and stay there. When I can wake up on my own and not because someone is crying. I look forward to feeling like my brain is working correctly again, and that I can tackle the obstacles that come my way. Because when I'm tired like this I see them coming and just want to cry instead. And I'm sure when those days finally get here I'll miss my little ones. I'll miss forgiving them for all the little things they did that day that drove me crazy when I see their sweet sleeping faces. I'll miss them cuddling up next to me to feel safe even if it did keep me awake sometimes. It's just that right now that seems so far away......