More TOFW notes (see previous post for first set)

Deann Flynn: It's the little things that matter most. Share a talent or hobby with your children, take time with them. Notice people when they are talking to you. Take time to really listen and look them in the eye. Get out of your car and into your home. "Make yourself" at home. Be your best self at home. 
She shared this quote:

“I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.”

 Dr. Haim Ginott quotes

We have a power in our mothering. Satan knows this and wants us to be so busy, consumed by doubts and feeling powerless. She tells this touching story of a Mother who had a wayward son\:

In high school he started to get into some bad things and was very non communicative with his parents. His Mother prayed to know how to help him but it was hard since they couldn't even talk. They both had hurt feelings towards each other. She decided to pick him up from school and take him right home so he wouldn't have time to get into trouble but he resented her even more for it. One morning while praying she had an impression that said, "Tell him that you love him." She kind of brushed it aside but it came again and again. She didn't know how to tell him since they hadn't talked in a while. She tried to find opportunities but it never seemed to be the right time. One night she went down to the laundry room which was right by his bedroom and saw him sleeping. She went in and told him that she loved him. She thought at least she was doing what the spirit prompted her to do, he might not be awake but she was doing her part. Each night she would wait for him to fall asleep and she would go into his room and tell him that she loved him. Sometimes she would brush his hair back from his face or give  him a goodnight kiss on the cheek. She found that her feelings towards him started to soften. She did this for months. Slowly things started to improve. He found a better group of friends. He started coming back to church and began to speak to his parents again. He even eventually served a mission. This family had some friends who had a wayward son not unlike the first boy that was mentioned. The parents didn't know what to do and came to talk to this Mother and son. They sat down together and asked what made things change for this son. The Mother answered and said that he had some good influences from friends and church leaders. She said that it also took patience and time but not to give up. Then the son addressed his Mother and said, "There was something that you did that helped me. Remember when you used to come in my room at night and tell me that you loved me? I used to wait for you. Knowing that you loved me even when I was doing those bad things and being so defiant made a huge difference in my life." The Mother was taken back. All those months she never knew he was aware of what she was doing. But she was grateful that she had listened to the still, small voice.

That story had everyone in tears.

Brad Wilcox: Talked about the atonement. The miracle of the atonement is that we can be transformed. The atonement should make us change the way we live. Look beyond the saving role or Christ and to the redeeming role. Redeem is to make better. To improve. Our goal in life isn't just to get back to God. We have to change. When we lived with him one of the reasons we were so excited to come to earth and be tested was because we saw how unlike him we were and how we would be able to improve by having this mortal experience. We wanted to come back better so we could feel at home in Heaven. Then he told a story of how he served his mission and on his mission it seemed like nobody wanted to listen. He had a hard time and started to doubt the existence of God. He saw his mission president a couple of times and didn't mention anything about it. Later on in an interview his mission president asked him if he had any questions for him. Elder Wilcox asked him then if God existed and if he knew him. His mission president answered that God did know him and that He is real. Of course he told the story with the spirit so it was much better and again everyone was moved to tears. His main message was that God does know us individually and hears us. And to make the atonement a real part of our life by changing for the better.

Wendy Ulrich: Our desires to do good things make us happy. Some ways to be happier:

1. Stop worrying about your weaknesses. Instead, build on strengths. Develop gifts you've been given. Humor, generosity, team player, faith, gratitude, ect. Find creative ways to use your talents.
2. Motivation follows action. Excercise. Even if it's just for a few minutes a week. Start to excerces, You might not feel happy while doing it, but you will be happier afterwards.
3. Stop trying to find friends. Develop the skills of friendship. Respond to bids. Have one meaningful conversation a day. Cherish and be loyal to the friends you already have.
4. Don't try to feel happy. Try to feel grateful. Write down three good things that happen to you each day.
5. Celebrate failure. Joseph Sulk who developed the vaccine for polio kept failing in his attempts in the beginning. When asked how he kept the faith, he said he owed it all to his Mother. She had cookies and milk waiting for him when he got home from school and he would sit and eat them while playing with a toy truck on the table. His mother told him to move his milk or the truck would hit it and spill it. He knocked it over and after he did his Mother could have yelled at him or said, "I told you that would happen." Instead she asked him what he had learned. Failure is something to learn from. She gave a challenge to write down feelings we had about a difficult time in our lives and then write down what we learned from that experience. 
6. Don't get help with your problems. Instead help someone else. 
7. Don't endure to the end. Life it to be enjoyed, not just endured.